Broke’s Big F*ck Off Festival Guide: UK Edition

I think we can all agree that the country is in the absolute gutter, but one thing it has going for it is a gutwrenchingly good roster of festivals because let’s be honest, nothing beats British rave culture. We know it can be overwhelming deciding where to put your hard-earned p’s or picking just one festival to splash on this season (this cost of greed crisis can stick it), so for the second phase of our 2024 festival guide we’ve rounded up our list of goated festivals and undiscovered gems across the UK, taking into account everything from top-notch lineups to unique atmospheres. Whether you’re a seasoned festival-goer or a first-timer, use this guide to guarantee a banging summer of seshing starting with our god-tier trio…

GOTTWOOD

WHEN – 13TH-16TH JUNE

LINEUP – B.LOVE, CRAZY P SOUNDSYSTEM, DR RANANA, LAID LAW, MARCELINA, PAPA NUGS, PHONE TRAXXX, COAST 2 COAST, VOIGTMAN & MORE

Get yourself down to the land of sheep shaggers (sit down Welshies, we’re only messin’) for some proper mint music at Gottwood this June, set around a gorgeous fantasy-like lake surrounded by stages and music seeping into the surroundings, it’s like being dunked into a different dimension where frogs reverberate beats, and the fairies run on a different kinda pixie dust. A few tips for first-timers, find the treehouse at the end of the trail, listen out for sheeps baaa-ing along to some undiscovered bangers and don’t hedge your bets with a broken pop-up (Ps, if you happen to be on staff camping, please pay tribute to the final resting place of Izzy’s tent at the top of the hill).

NOISILY

WHEN – 11TH-14TH JULY

LINEUP – DIGITAL HIPPIE, AUDIO ANONYMOUS, PAN POT, AVALON, NU:TONE, FLAVA D, SAMURAI BREAKS & MORE

If you’re looking to do some soul-searching, connect with nature by day and have a rager by night, get yourself down to Noisily Festival. When you’re not listening to underground DJs underneath balls of colourful lights hanging from the trees or listening to plant music in a forest of LED mushrooms, you’ll be raving to some live DNB DJ exclusively for the waiting area of a pizza van.This isn’t just a festival by the way – be ready to meet another version of yourself on the other side. Last year we witnessed a soul-finding sensation from frolicking around the wilderness, lounging in the nudist sauna, toe-tapping to trance for 4 hours straight to even playing Simpsons Hit ‘n Run in a caravan. Anything goes and freedom exists at Noisily.

BOOMTOWN

WHEN – 7TH-11TH AUGUST

LINEUP – TBA (You know the score)

Disneyland on Drugs and we ARE addicted.

Where do we even begin with Boomtown, it’s hard to find words that accurately depict living in an alternate universe for five days, it’s a place where everything and anything goes, the ridiculous really be ridiculousing and you’ll more than likely meet mates for life. Contained within the festival grounds of South Downs National Park you’ll find a small city with a fully functioning town at the centre a full-blow post office where you can send letters via the Boomtown mail (with a rave in the backroom), a Job Centre, Pharmacy, Take Away shop and a sh*t tone of hidey holes. Head into the ‘suburbs’ and up the Wetherspoons stairs (iykyk) for a trip into trance land with sandy floors and LEDs hanging from the trees or into Botanica where Joy Anonymous played a set that healed our soul last year (followed by us blagging our way behind the decks). This festival is layered with unpredictableness, adventure and optimism. Go explore!

GLASTONBURY

WHEN – 26TH-30TH JUNE

LINEUP – HONEY DIJON, JUNGLE, NIA ARCHIVES, CONFIDENCE MAN, PEGGY GOU, BARRY CAN’T SWIM, SKREAM & BENGA & MORE

We all know Glasto is a given, but if we didn’t include a section for the festival that delivers gutwrenchingly-good lineups every goddamn year, it’d be downright disrespectful. Tickets are officially sold out, but if your mate has one going spare and you’re only planning to splash on one festival this season (fuck the tories), Glastonbury basically guarantees a banging time.

HOUGHTON

WHEN – 8TH-11TH AUGUST

LINEUP – DANIEL AVERY, BEN UFO, DR BANANA, HORSE MEAT DISCO, JOY ORBISON, MOODYMAN, PEACH, SHERELLE & MORE

Word of mouth travels fast in the festival community, and if we’ve heard one thing about Houghton, it’s that their music taste is unrivalled. Their lineup alone is worth the trek to Norfolk, with everything from electronic legends to undiscovered underground names ready to christen the decks this year. If you and your mates are after a weekend of impeccable tunes and brain-massaging beats around every corner, cop ya selves ticket.

FORBIDDEN FOREST

WHEN – 30TH MAY-2ND JUNE

LINEUP – DARKZY, SKEPSIS, PAWSA, SETH TROXLER, BOU, HEDEX, HORSE MEAT DISCO, DOM DOLLA, HANNAH LAING, GHOULISH, NOTION, SAMMY VIRJI, OPPIDAN & MORE

If you’re into DNB and come from the Midlands, you’ll have more than likely come across Forbidden Forest. For anyone who hasn’t, picture a bass haven, located at Belvoir Castle, primed and ready for ravers looking to let off some steam to come down and skank the weekend away. If you’re into UKG, heavy house and all-round bangers, you’ll wanna get your butt up to Leicestershire

LOVE SAVES THE DAY

WHEN – 25TH-26TH May

LINEUP – THE STREETS, DR BANANA, SAMMY VIRJI, OPPIDAN, LULAH FRANCS, HANNAH LAING, HEDEX B2B BOU & MORE

Bristol’s always guaranteed to show a good party and Love Saves the Day never falls short. The Streets & Rudimental will be headlining the weekend. BRIT winner Casisdead, Dr Banana, Sammy Virgi, Oppidan and Lulah Francs are just a few others we’re toooo gassed to catch as we head West for the weekend in just a couple of weeks – snatch your tickets up!

FIELD MANEUVERS

WHEN – 16TH-18TH AUGUST

LINEUP – HAAI, BUSHBBY, MICHELLE MANETTI, TANHLAH, AMBIENT BABESTATION MELTDOWN, JOSH CAFFÉ & MORE

Field Maneuvers fell onto our radar for the first time this season and while we haven’t had a chance to check it out for ourselves yet, we already rate it for a few reasons, it’s an independent festival, they’ve stayed true to their underground roots in the eleven years this eclectic event has been running and their lineup is packed with emerging DJs spinning everything from ambient, IDM and electro, jungle, breaks, bass and garage, through to house, techno, happy hardcore and donk.

LOST VILLAGE

WHEN – 22ND-25TH AUGUST

LINEUP – CHAOS IN THE CBD, DAN SHAKE, DJ SEINFELD, HAAI, HE.SHE.THEY, HORSE MEAT DISCO, JOB JOBSE, SALUTE & MORE

Tucked under a leafy roof in rural Lincolnshire is Lost Village, envision rays of sunshine lighting the soft soil dance floors by day and hazy lights leading ravers to the next tent of electronic euphoria at night. It’s a relaxed atmosphere with music ending around 1AM, but if you’re after something chilled and cosy, this could be one for you.

BOARDMASTERS

WHEN – 7TH-11TH AUGUST

LINEUP – BICEP, CHARLOTTE PLANK, SAMMY VIRJI, NIA ARCHIVES, HANNAH LAING, THE STREETS, KATE NASH, OVERMONO, HEDEX, DICK & DOM, MIXTRESS & MORE

A summer festival lineup wouldn’t be complete without some beats on the beach, and Boardmasters well and truly makes up for our lack of scenic coastal festivals here in the UK. Aside from the aesthetic elements of the event, this year’s lineup is popping tf off (honestly, whoever designed it needs a raise) and for anyone hoping to catch some iconic electronic heads bopping behind the decks this season, Boardmasters is the place to be.

FORWARDS

WHEN – 31ST AUGUST -1ST SEPTEMBER

LINEUP – FOUR TET, LOYLE CARNER, LCD SOUNDSVSTEM, CRAZY P & MORE

Sitting on a peak is Forwards Festival – located in Bristol’s Durdham Down. With two huge stages stretching as far as you can see, this festival has hosted some dreamy talents over the years and 2024 doesn’t miss a beat. The festival aims to present high quality, diverse and heritage music acts alongside emerging artists while paying homage to Bristol’s long standing history of being a music city.

PARKLIFE

WHEN – 8TH-9TH JUNE

LINEUP – KATRANADA, PEGGY GOU, FOUR TET, PAWSA, DOM DOLLA, TRYM, SKREAM, DJ HEARTSTRING, HORSEGIIRL, BARRY CAN’T SWIM, SAMMY VIRJI, INTERPLANETARY CRIMINAL, BAKEY, GHOULISH, ATRIP, DJ LOVE & MORE

All we can say (or scream) is that our DJ Daddy Skream has a motherfucking stage at Parklife this year… and if you have been with us a while you know we are foaming at the mouth. It’s the lineup of the year and a local Mancunian is stupid to miss out on the rave of the century on their doorstep.

SECRET ISLAND FESTIVAL

WHEN – 20TH JULY

LINEUP – LULAH FRANCS, SCARLETT O’ MALLEY, TIBASKO, DEMI RIQUSIMO, DJ HAZARD, DJ HYPE, MICHELLE MANETTI, PLASTICIAN & MORE

Awarding Winning Secret Island Festival is here to return for a 4th year running, and if you’re looking for a festival with some of the best sunsets, a Bohemian vibe and a community full of celebration for music and positivity, look no further. On July 20th Secret Island Festival will take place at Strood Field on Mersea Island, the coast of Essex from 12pm till 11pm. There will be over 50 artists playing across four stages and the line up is full of such an electrifying multi-genre list of house & disco artists and some immense names in drum and bass. This year the festival is hoping to see 3000 party heads, so I hope some of you come and join us grooving away until the sun sets.

CREAMFIELDS NORTH

WHEN – 22ND-25TH AUGUST

LINEUP – PAWSA, ANTOR, BICEP CHROMA, BRUTALISMUS 3000, CHARLOTTE DE WITTE, DJ DADDY TRANCE, FATBOY SLIM, MICHEAL BIBI, BARRY CAN’T SWIM, HANNAH LAING, HEDEX, SALUTE, TRYM

Creamfields is keeping its title of King of the North with this year’s orgasmic lineup. Hosting DJ heavyweights to more underground sensations, Creamfields North is a place to be if you live in the upper part of the county. If you can’t stop skanking and grooving down in the dirt then Creamfields North is a home away from home for you. 

TRAMLINES

WHEN – 26TH-28TH JULY

LINEUP – JAMIE T, PAOLO NUTINI, SNOW PATROL

Us brokerz have been lucky enough to be invited to Sheffield’s biggest party! Legendary festival Tramlines is back again for a 16th year running, if you love anything from world-class acts to some stellar comedy shows and entertainment for over the course of 3 days. Tramlines have invited some iconic artist’s that I will be definitely front of the crowd for, Example, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Soft
Play and Annie Mac will be setting the scene for an unforgettable weekend ahead and my personal favourite, who I am gassed to see Jamie T. Around 40,000 party people will be heading to Steel City for the event this summer and they have something for every single person, whether that’s moshing with your mates or sipping pints in the sun.

WESTIVAL

WHEN – 6TH-10TH JUNE

LINEUPCRAZY P SOUNDSYSTEM, 2 BAD MICE, GOLDIE

Here’s a new one on our radar. Westival unveils the inaugural wave of its 2024 lineup, igniting anticipation for the festival’s sixth edition. Nestled in the heart of Pembrokeshire, this isn’t just any old festival; it’s a familial gathering and a pulsating house-party. They plan to elevate the disco experience by welcoming the legendary Evelyn “Champagne” King to grace the stage. Rising to prominence during the 1970s disco heyday, King’s soulful anthems like “Love Come Down” and “Shame” promise an unforgettable Welsh debut, performed to an intimate crowd of no more than 500—a rarity in today’s festival circuit.

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